And do-si-do your partner

It's a Burlicious tradition in the last week of teaching a routine that we prepare our lovelies to dance it in an unfamiliar environment. That means getting our showgirls to turn the dance around and dance facing in different directions to the one they're used to.

Often we'll set up lines of beauties to dance in different directions at the same time. It's always a bit of a head-scratcher and brilliantly entertaining. Suddenly, a routine that the troupe knows inside out becomes a routine in which we haven't got the faintest idea which direction to step in next (note that I do not suggest that we Burlicious Three are reliably immune from this spatial confusion!).

It requires much, much more concentration to dance the thing when you're distracted by a line of showgirls facing you dancing, quite correctly, in the opposite direction to the one you're going in.

All the tell-tale signs of a bit of brain stretch were there last night - frowns of serious concentration; glassy-eyed determination not to look at another showgirl and the direction she might be going in for fear of getting confused; lost showgirls turning round to find that the rest of the class is heading towards them; and that giveaway "step, ooh no, recover and retreat" motion that looks a little bit like a small and very fast Irish jig on the spot.

 Who needs crosswords and sudoku? This stuff gives us all the mental workout we need!

Yours, with brain nicely flexed,

 Burlicious x

Showgirl Relief

What a fabulous treat for a Monday night - three dozen showgirls looking absolutely delicious, all shaking their groove thang with us to raise money for Comic Relief. We Burlicious Three, along with a sprinkling of our regular beauties, took the gorgeous women of Active Life in Canterbury through a feisty rendition of “Lady Marmalade” and a good time was had by all.

We were tickled pink to see so many of our first-time showgirls kitted out in corsets and heels and just as delighted that others came along in their comfortable workout gear. It proves our point that you don’t need a wardrobe full of sequins, fishnets and stilettoes to enjoy our class. All you need is to give yourself up to the music, flash a bit of female attitude, and to shimmy, bump and grind like a good ‘un. And smile!

We had a ball, ladies. Thank you for joining us. It was very satisfying afterwards to see the Burlicious signature of a sea of multi-coloured feathers on the floor. It was even more entertaining to watch that carpet of feathers take on a life of its own as the feathers raced across the floor in blasts of fierce air-conditioning!

And for those of you new showgirls who want more and who can’t make our regular class, remember, we're running an afternoon workshop on Saturday 27th June. Go on, treat yourself and book in. You know you want to!

Yours, floating on feathers,

Burlicious x

Coming to see our etchings

Off we trotted on Saturday to be a surprise present for a birthday boy as he turned fifty. It was a lovely event – a small crowd; a roaring open fire (very hot under the boa!); a delightful dressing room; champagne; and a very, very appreciative birthday boy.

“That’s etched on my retina now for ever,” he repeated happily as we chatted afterwards. He then gazed admiringly at the curves of the Voluptuous Jules, asking wistfully if she ever did a Tinkerbell number. “Well,” said Jules musingly, “she is a very naughty fairy…”

The Sparkly Bra Pixie and I have often said that we could make a fortune just hiring that woman out on a “look, but don’t touch” basis. The Voluptuous Jules says that there’s a word for that, and it isn’t a nice one.

We left our birthday boy asking us if we were staying for breakfast and wondering if he could afford to have us dance for him every week. It’s nice to be appreciated.

Yours, sprinkling birthday fairy dust on some happy lives,

Burlicious x

Sweet Charity

It’s official, my little chickadees – we’ll be doing our bit for Comic Relief on Monday 16^th March by running a one-off class for Active Life in Canterbury. We’ll be taking our special blend of sashaying, strutting and shimmying to that hallowed hall of fitness to enrapture the gym bunnies and captivate the regular class goers. It promises to be great fun.

If you fancy it, drop everything and book in now.

Mind you, I think we had better not use the head mike. Much as we fancy mincing about, Madonna-style, in our corset and heels, I’m not sure how our normal shouted instructions of “T*TS!” and “LEFT… BUTTOCK!” will be received if they are boomed out to those who are demurely getting on with working up a sweat in other parts of the building.

On the other hand, who knows? It may very well catch on!

Yours, hitching up the fishnets for charidee,

Burlicious x