Using one's assets

The Voluptuous Jules took to the floor to lead the troupe in our last warm up of term this week. This is a rare treat. Jules is misplaced in time and place and was clearly intended to be a sassy goodtime girl entertaining a delighted audience in a saloon bar somewhere deep in the Old Wild West.

Within seconds she was leading the troupe in a series of bumps and grinds, punctuated by death-dealing hip thrusts forwards and accompanied by a knowing, smouldering expression.

"Are you drunk?" asked one showgirl in concern.

Nah, this is just Jules at her bootylicious best, using every curve that she has to stunning effect. Proof positive of the Burlicious philosophy that confidence and individual style are what make a woman sexy.

Forget what the Hollywood movies, the women's magazines and the manufacturers of unnecessary beauty and clothes products tell you. There isn't just one way for women to be beautiful and desirable. We all have our own way of being powerfully female and fabulous, if we can only see it and use it. And Jules certainly can!

Yours, loving that sass,

Burlicious x

Stroker needed

A host of other commitments, holiday absences and evil bugs brought our little troupe to half its usual size last night. For our latest routine, we have our showgirls in groups of three. In one move, the middle lovely bends over slowly, rear to the audience, and the other two stroke slowly down and up the back of her legs.

"Oh," says one of our showgirls last night, having spotted that her two regular partners in sequins were absent, "who's going to stroke down my legs?"

Frankly, we can think of a long list of complete strangers who would jump at the chance of being recruited for that particular task, especially when you remember that our little hall is next to the Fire Station. However, our chances of then getting the lucky volunteer to dance the rest of the routine with us or to leave the hall afterwards are zero.

Ah well, maybe at the next performance we'll raffle that job off?

Yours, withholding treats from the masses,

Burlicious x

The art of the reveal

A small plumbing difficulty at our little hall meant no heating during our class last night. Now, clearly, we showgirls are smoking hot, but, even so, it was a teeny bit too fresh in there to be dancing around in our smalls.


Forewarned, we turned up sensibly muffled in our layers like grannies going on a winter coach trip to some bracing British seaside resort. As the routine developed and we warmed up we removed items of clothing bit by cautious bit. Typically, as you know, the most that we take off is our gloves and a boa. Last night, we peeled off far more... and still had more on by the end of the class than we would usually have on at the very beginning.



And as more showgirl beauty was revealed, more sultry confidence in the routine unfurled. Ah, showgirls, how sexy you look as you turn out that left shoulder and caress down that outstretched leg. Gorgeous, just gorgeous. Which makes the contrast with the "bunny in the headlights" eyes as you do the new glove removal even more delicious. :-)

As we were saying when we wrapped up (in more ways than one) at the end of class last night. It's great when the routine is perfect and it's fun when it isn't - what's not to like?

Yours, ordering thermal vests,

Burlicious x

Individually gorgeous

Last night we launched our latest routine. It's a sultry, smouldering little number, all lazy hip swings and long arm caresses. Think, if you will, of long, humid afternoons on the verandah with a mint julep and a lean, weathered cowboy (one of the cleaner ones with a few social graces, natch), exchanging bold and lingering stares heavy with promise.

OK, it's not very like our little hall, but you get what we're aiming for.

Already pretty much step perfect through the opening moves, we're now enticing the troupe to try to circle their lovely hips in time with each other. The routine calls for groups of three, standing close together, and includes a series of little grinds (basically, hip circles). Now, if three women all circle their hips in the same direction at the same time, it looks bloomin' lovely. However, last night, it was a bit like looking through a microscope at a drop of water and seeing a number of organisms all swirling away randomly in every direction - like a Newton's Cradle, if you like, when one of the balls has been disrupted.

It's individually expressive - which we like. But it also looks endearingly bonkers.

But, do you know what? By next week they'll have it sussed. What looks now like a disco throwback to everyone dancing "The Bump" will in next week's class become co-ordinated and slick and beautiful and effortless.

We do love seeing you eat this stuff up, Showgirls. You're a class act.

Yours, we do declare,

Burlicious x