A spanking finale

We cruised delectably to the last steps of our current routine last night. This includes the "spank self lightly with glove" move so loved by audiences over the years.

And it's more difficult than it looks, somehow. Although the right buttock is not at that time a moving target, and although it is not exactly a teeny target either, a direct hit on the buttock is a surprisingly rare occurrence. Instead there are little flails of glove just past the buttock, dedicated whipping of thin air; and unintended thrashings of thigh. Still, it does look lovely.

See you next week, showgirls, for an opportunity just to dance and dance and dance this one. It's one we use a lot for performances so it's worth knowing it well if you do want to strut your gorgeous stuff in public. Then we'll start something new on Weds 8th March.

In the meantime, we'll be choreographing like crazy this afternoon. Cue shrieks of laughter, feathers everywhere and our Props Manager with his headphones firmly on so as to shut out the racket.

Yours, busy crafting new beauty from hilarious beginnings,

Burlicious x

A short break for refreshment

Somehow we have shimmied, sashayed and slid our way into half term and a week's break from class. That doesn't mean that all is quiet at Burlicious Towers, though - far from it.

The regular restocking of Burlicious consumables is in hand.

We're plaiting together the worst of our tired old boas so that they can be used for a little longer in class. The poor things take a surprising thrashing week after week in our dainty little gloved hands and become positively threadbare.

A  giNORmous box of new boas has just arrived along with new evening gloves for class. Box after box of bright feathers awaits our showgirls when we return to class on Wednesday 22nd.

And, most important of all, the choreography elves are hard at work on our next routine. It's all sax (yes, that was "sax" with an "a") and trumpet and serious punchy beats. We're on a mission to create something alluring and seductive and knowing. And we're not averse to just smutting it up a bit here and there either.

If you could see behind the scenes to our production line of deliciousness, you would smile with pleasure.

Yours, slaving down the seduction mines for your pleasure,

Burlicious x

A ha'penny for your thoughts

We love a suggestive, mildly salacious dance routine.

We also strive - because we are laydees - for a veil of decorum in our class. Although it must be said that I am the showgirl most likely to let us down on this score.

Noticing that some showgirls were going for a vague stroke of the hips instead of an enthusiastic slide of hands over the groin last night, the Sparkly Bra Pixie halted proceedings to explain that what we were after was a full-on "hands to fanny" move.

This prompted some discussion about what instruction I should give when we reached that point in the routine. "Ha'penny" and "Lady Garden" were jokingly suggested and immediately rejected as having too many syllables. "Minge" was then helpfully put forward as the shorter option.

I have to tell you that shouting "MINGE!!" as an instruction to a group of delectable showgirls as they wriggle deliciously from side to side feels, well, shall we say it feels just a teeny bit unrefined?

Mind you, it did generate an appreciative round of laughter, which is something that we love about our class.

Yours, regretfully unlikely to be invited to the Debutantes' Ball,

Burlicious x