Pink Pussycat

This fabulous, blowsy, raunchy instrumental number by The Del Reys is our current theme tune. Last night, we got the troupe to the stage where an evening glove, concealed in one hand at the cleavage, is pulled out of the hand in a series of magician-like teeny spurts, before fountaining up and out of the hand and onto the floor in, er, well, in a climax.

Ahem.

Demonstrating the move, the Voluptuous Jules (who wants to be a cat and who real cats treat as if she were part of their feline family) likens the small forward convulsions that accompany this four-part glove reveal to the preparatory stages of a cat coughing up a hairball.

"Hmm," says the Sparkly Bra Pixie thoughtfully, "probably not the kind of pussy that the audience has in mind."

Yours, with the tone so low that it's skimming our stilettos,

Burlicious x

All together now!

"So what we would like," we say to our lovely troupe when we have demonstrated the next move to them, "is if you could all do that at exactly the same time."

Cue looks of disbelief and peals of showgirl laughter.

The move in question is a grind - a circle of the hips anti-clockwise while one heel is lifted. At this stage in the routine, the troupe is arranged in groups of three, each group in a little line, each showgirl close to the next showgirl in her line.


Sounds simple, no?

Ah, but the grind is a very personal thing. Some start it by taking the hips side and back before circling around to the front. Some start side and front before circling to the back. Some have a little flick of emphasis on one hip and not the other. Some go round at Warp Factor 9, lapping their fellow showgirls in no time. It's a recipe for a line of hips and bums, all going at different speeds in different directions and looking every bit as coordinated as a collection of ferrets fighting in a bag.

The only solution, stalker-like, is to fix one's gaze firmly on the hips of the woman in front and to try to mirror exactly the direction, style and speed of her grind. It's a lot harder than it looks!

These simple mental challenges make a class with Burlicious a workout for the body and brain as well as being a treat for the soul.

Yours, looking at our own hips in a new light,

Burlicious x

And relax

Have a fabulous Easter, showgirls! We'll be back in our feathers, corsets and spangly drawers next Wednesday, 19th April.

Until then, take the weight off yer stilettos; ease out yer corset ribbons; and leave those silky evening gloves in the drawer. You are officially stood down. :-)

Yours, temporarily dialling down the glamour,

Burlicious x